The weekend before Easter, I attended a Spiritual Healing Retreat with many women in our Parish. This was something completely out of my comfort zone, but I felt called to go. And I’m so glad that I did.
What a profoundly beautiful and sanctifying experience I obtained from that retreat. It was truly inconceivable mercy!
Friday night and Saturday mostly consisted of scriptural teachings on healing, and I was enlightened by two lessons.
The first being something that has been repeated to me many times, but this time it finally sunk into my thick skull.
I am not worthy. But Jesus did not die for the worthy. He died for me. The unworthy. The screwup. The hot mess. He suffered for me. He died for me!
I can’t even begin to describe the overpowering sense of realization in that moment! A newly discovered color had just emerged into my spectrum!
The second was finding that I could discipline my children while maintaining that motherly love of Mary. When they are disobedient, be strict and correct them, but follow up with an “I love you no matter what you do. This is why I did [blankety blank] and had to take away [blankety blank].” Saying “I love you” alongside the disciplining allows me time to think, calm myself down and toss out the urge to be angry or frustrated. As a mother, this was a huge breakthrough for me, but these enlightenments didn’t hold a candle to the last day of the retreat, which occurred on Palm Sunday.
It was our final session and we broke off into prayer groups of 10-12 standing in separate circles with one chair in the middle. Each person was to receive a turn at sitting in the middle while the rest of us women laid hands on that person and prayed for them internally and verbally.
The first two ladies’ prayer sessions were fairly uneventful. I suppose the Holy Spirit was just warming up.
But then, He began to breath fiery tongues upon us like it was Pentecost!
It was mind blowing.
My roommate sat in the middle. I began to feel something stirring inside of me.
Heart pounding. Harder, harder, harder.
Eyes shut. Fluttering rapidly. Faster, faster, faster.
Sun shining. Brighter, brighter, brighter.
Adrenaline pumping. Rushing, racing, shooting through my veins!
It was unfathomable.
The words and prayers that spilled out of us were something not of this world. Something only God could bring to light.
Cast out her anxiety. Toss it away and never return. Worry be gone!
Make her fruitful. Bless her fertility. She will be the mother of 12 kids!
Then it was my turn.
First, silence. Then….
The word redeemed is coming to mind. You are redeemed!
Fill her with the necessary knowledge when she’s with her family this Easter.
The Serenity Prayer just came to me. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
I suddenly sensed the sun shining, beaming, completely enveloping me.
I felt the need to move so the sunlight could shine on you.
I was keenly aware of God’s warmth. It was awesome!
A friend from my bible study group sat in the middle.
My eyes began moving rapidly underneath my closed eyelids. I felt intense supernatural energy.
Let it go. You are carrying a cross that isn’t yours to carry.
Another lady. I voiced all that consumed my heart and mind.
May God bless you with heroic patience and motherly love.
Look at the water. The light reflecting off the lake will renew you. You are renewed in it!
Finally, the last woman of our group sat in the middle chair. We laid our hands on her.
I see a woman standing in front of a wave. A giant cowabunga wave. She is unafraid. Then she is surfing the wave. Riding it, gliding down, arms spread, fearlessness in her eyes. She seems to be saying, “I can conquer anything because God is with me!” She is surfing in the image of Mary! She is the Surfing Madonna!
Her new nickname is now Surfing Madonna.
If you’ve never heard of her, she is captured as a mosaic image of the Virgin of Guadalupe surfing a wave. It is located on a wall in Solana Beach, CA (which is where one of my sister’s lives) outside of a local winery, hence the reason I know of her.
And all of this Holy Spirit action happened in one morning. The rest of Palm Sunday brought me more unimaginable graces which I will reveal in my next post.