My Gift from God because I said “Yes”!

They lived their last moments with me holding them.In the warmest, coziest, safest place that is closest to my heart and soul.

Many of you know my story.  I was infertile.  My husband, Matt and I, chose to do IVF.  We had boy/girl twins.  Upon rediscovering my faith in the Catholic Church, I found out IVF was a mortal sin.  

Matt and I asked ourselves: What do we do with our three leftover embryos? We don’t want five children, do we?  Could we handle that many kids?  What on earth did we get ourselves into?  

We decided that this decision wasn’t up to us.  It was God’s will to give us all of these children.  They are not property.  We don’t own them.  We can’t discard them.  They are human.  They are alive.  They have souls.  They deserve a chance at continuing their already created lives.  

It was our responsibility as their parents, their guardians, their protectors, to un-interrupt the interrupted, to rescue our children from their stagnant state that we had put them in.

We said “Yes” to resuming God’s will for us, despite our fears of raising a big family.

Today, on the Feast of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I read this reflection and it dawned on me that I had said “Yes” to God’s will too.  Just as this woman, just as Mary, just as Jesus, and I experienced the same gift from God that this woman experienced: a little more time with our children.

None of our remaining embryos survived, but instead of “living” their lives indefinitely in a cold freezer or tossed out to die in a trash can or experimented on in a lab to be killed in a petri dish, they passed away inside of me.  

They lived their last moments with me holding them.

In the warmest, coziest, safest place that is closest to my heart and soul.  

In my womb.

God granted me this beautiful gift.  Why?  

Because I won His favor.  

Because I said “Yes” to His will.

 

 

Benedicamus Domino, 

Kara

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